The carpet munching, pussy eating, lip service, oral sex move may as well be a two-for-one special.
I mean, you're solving the world's problems and receiving an orgasm. What more could you want? Well, there is one thing.
The ability to zone out and enjoy the moment would be the icing on the cake, but alas, here we are.
While your partner is busy clam diving, you're in your head with thoughts that can be anything from "did I shut the fridge?" To "yes, keep doing that".
It's like a big old swirly combo in your head.
Sure, we will eventually enjoy the saucy rendezvous, but it just takes a minute to let our walls down and give into the full glory of our partner's slurpy skills.
So, for now, here are 40 thoughts every gal has had while laying back and letting their partner drink from the furry cup.
- Oh, okay, the panties are off. They're going down south. No hesitation. This is happening; everyone take your places
- I'm so glad I showered before coming over here
- I wonder if they can see my head over my stomach pooch?
- They're looking up at me. I better quickly moan or something
- Oh yeah, that's the one. Bring a finger into the mix
- They're better at this than I expected, at least better than my ex
- He did have his skills though, like that time he -
- Omg, stop thinking about your ex while your new boo is literally all up in your lady cave
- Okay, now deep breath, focus on the guy between your legs
- Oh, the alphabet trick, good move. Someone's been reading Cosmopolitan
- I wonder if they're enjoying this? Does their jaw hurt?
- Shit, do I have to reciprocate it?
- Surely I can avoid it by just going straight into bumpy cuddles
- This is getting dangerously close to my butt
- I am kind of intrigued though
- Can't wait to tell the group chat that they almost knocked on the back door
- Are they stopping? God dam, it was just getting good
- Wait, nope, back down they go. Praise Jesus
- Why did they stop? Oh my god, what if there was a piece of toilet paper stuck down there, and it got stuck in their mouth
- What if I got my PERIOD?!
- Those thoughts are way too invasive. Move on before you cry
- Ahhh! What the fuck was that?
- My magic bean is not the earth, and your mouth is not a black hole. Please stop sucking so hard
- If they're going this hard for this long, does it mean we are officially dating?
- Mental note pt 2. Tell the group chat we are probably dating now
- No one panic, but they've found the perfect finger banging, lip service rhythm
- Rip. Why are they going faster now that I've moaned?
- These moans are top tier, though, I would make a great porn star.
- What would my theme song be?
- My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack
- Yeah, that is definitely the one
- Oh, can't forget dinner with my parents tomorrow
- Kind of weird to be thinking about my parents right now
- Holy mother of God, whatever that is, keep doing it
- Am I going to squirt?
- Would they care? At least we could shower together after
- Omgggggggg. Am I done?
- Yup, I'm done
- Solid 8 out of 10
- And now for the main course. Hello bumpy cuddles