This week on Lights Off With Lillie, we are doing another confessions piece. I spoke to a GGO queen who shared her swinging experience and answered some questions that may help any interested couples.
- Names have been removed for privacy.
It started like this…
My hubby and I decided it was time to dip our toes in the world of swinging. After a lot of open and honest conversation, we packed an overnight bag and took a trip to CCK in Auckland. We made plans to meet a couple, and before sitting down with them, we had all the feelings. Excitement, nervousness and frankly, a little bit of fear. But as soon as we met the couple, we both knew. They were the ones. And then it got hot. Before long, I was being attended to on the sex swing by not one but three people.I swear the guy in the couple was a finger banging guru. He had the most amazing magic fingers and definitely knew what he was doing! Absolutely no aggressive finger banging in sight. Long story short, they had me coming so hard I broke one of the leg supports and the metal link in the sex swing. But things didn't stop there. For the first time in my life, I squirted SO HARD it went all the way across the room. It was unreal.
Note from Lillie: The story was too good and too exciting not to get more info so I asked our GGO queen some Q's and she delivered with the oh so intriguing answers.
How did you and your partner decide you wanted to try swinging?
Our intimate relationship has never been vanilla, but it had always been just the 2 of us, and the idea of opening us as a couple too, well, more than just us, was a massive step.
We had always fantasized about swinging scenarios but only in the year or so leading up to our experience did it move from reality to thinking, 'hey, we could actually try this!'
We ended up attending a swingers club figuring it was a good way to dip our toes in. At the very least, we would have a night out and a couple of drinks and didn't feel the pressure that a one-on-one meeting through a website may have been.
We chatted to a few couples and then ended up with one that just gave both of us 'that' feeling. Talking led to flirting and led to more, but nothing felt forced, awkward, or seedy.
How did you feel before and after the experience? Did you and your partner unwind together by discussing what had happened? Was aftercare important?
I think, in hindsight, really taking our time to make the step was key. Sure, there was excitement and nerves (and honestly, we were both a bit scared!), but we had been really open with each other about what we may like to happen and what we were comfortable with, so when we finally got there, there was no uncertainty about what our personal and joint limits were.
We didn't want to jeopardise our relationship just for the sake of exploring kinks and didn't want to invite jealousy or guilt in.
Much more important actually was the aftercare for each other. We got home, both a bit stunned, giggling, chatted about what happened and how we felt and reconnected emotionally.
The experience has given us the confidence to explore further, should we both wish to, but more importantly and quite unexpectedly, it has really strengthened every aspect of our relationship.
Will you try swinging again?
We haven't returned yet, but we will again sometime. That's the other thing. It doesn't have to be an 'all in, and this is our lifestyle now' type of scenario.
You can choose your involvement to suit you as a couple, as frequent or infrequent as you like. It's your sex life; take control and enjoy it.
How can people find out more information about swinging?
A club is a great introduction, and if you're worried about bumping into someone and being recognised, consider travelling to another area and making a weekend of it!
There are also heaps of online communities you can use to find like-minded people/couples/groups, such as kiwiswingers and FetLife.
Do you have any tips for interested couples?
I would say both partners need to be equally interested in exploring swinging for it to be successful for them and really delve deep with some frank conversations before committing to trying it.
If you have had the best, worst or wildest sex of your life and want to share your story, I would love to hear it! Flick me an email lillie@girlsgetoff.co.nz