You're looking at your boo thang, they're looking at you, the air is thick with love, no, affection, no wait, anticipation.
That's the word I was looking for. The air is thick with anticipation.
You've been "dating" for a little while now, but you haven't officially claimed the girlfriend title, and it's getting a tad frustrating - okay, a lot frustrating, to the point where you've resorted to trying out the method you saw on TikTok where you whisper "make me your girlfriend" in their ear when they're asleep.
We've all been there, gal.
Despite your psychological attempts, you're pretty sure it's coming, I mean, he asked you to be his date to his friend's wedding, and he wouldn't ask that if he didn't want to show you off to his friends, right?
Plus, he's making plans for you two to have Sunday dinner with his parents one of these days, and you can't help but notice you spend almost every night together.
So you're pretty sure the magic moment could be about to happen because you're gazing into the eyes of each other with a small smile tugging at your lips, and it feels just like all the romantic scenes in the movies.
It's. About. To. Happen.
And then it doesn't.
And your heart hurts enough to drive someone insane… or to the RDC (relationship defining chat).
See there comes the point in everyone's relationship where you may decide to have the RDC, also known as the "what are we?" chat and even the "god dammit James, I want to be your official girlfriend" chat.
Of course, some people may skip it altogether and be okay with the "we act like a couple, so we must be a couple" approach which is fantastic. Good for them, they have found the chillax way to date.
But if you're someone who prefers things to be clean-cut and compartmentalised, you'll find yourself opting for the RDC.
There are a million articles telling you how to instigate the chat, and I'm sure there is some helpful advice in them, but it doesn't feel as real coming from an article, does it?
So we are shaking it up and asking real people - wild, I know. I took to the GGO queens in the Girls Get Off Uncensored Facebook group last week to ask how they became "exclusive" with their lovers and here's what they said:
The Clean-Cut RDC
One gal said there was no way around having the RDC because her son was getting attached to her man. With the help of alcohol to dilute the awkwardness, she said, "are we together or not? If not, leave now" Seven years later, they're married and have children together.
If that's not your jam and you want to be a bit cheeky, you can take a page out of this GGO Queen's book and throw your friend under the bus - I mean, what are friends for if not to start the RDC? She told her lover her friend asked if they were official, and she said yes, to which he replied, "Oh, I've just been telling everyone we are FWB… jokes, yeah, we are official."
The Chillax RDC
For one GGO queen, she didn't even have to have a chat. Her partner showed her from the get-go he was after something serious, and five years after he showed up at her house with an overnight bag, they are still together.
This gal found out the chat doesn't need to be some big event. Sometimes it's a big moment encased in a small action like this, "My now ex said ', aren't you gonna wish me a happy boyfriend day?' And I went, 'Oh, are you, my boyfriend now?' He said yep, and that was that."
Honesty's The Best Policy RDC
Like this GGO legend, you might not be into wasting time. She was very straight up and said she would rather be single than get mucked around, which led to serious convos on goals, future plans, and intentions. It all paid off, and within four months, they had moved in together & started trying for a baby.
Another knew what she wanted from the minute she was officially an adult. "I was 18, and I said all I wanted was to get married and have babies. He said okay." 15 years later, they are married and have four children together.
The bumpy cuddles must have been fire for one gal who said three weeks after they got freaky, they moved in together, and there was "no real discussion". Now they're 21 years down with four kids together.
Another said, "I didn't have that convo, we were sleeping together, and then 3 years later, we got married, so I kinda figured then that we were in a proper relationship."
However, when the RDC comes about, it's important to know that every relationship is different, and there is no right or wrong way to define it. Follow your heart and remember when the vibes bang, they can hang. If not, it's for the plot.
- By Lillie Rohan.