It’s debatably a man's favourite thing in the world, but for the chicks, I for one can definitely think of a few things I would rather do.
Especially pre shower, after a night of dancing and sweating on the d-floor. Ew.
Today queens, we are talking about blow jobs.
Whether you call them a gobby, head, Gluck Gluck 9000, blowie, or the old fav, a BJ, chances are if you navigate the knobstacle course, you’ve dabbled in the BJ world.
The truth about this sex act is you can research it all you want, you can read a million sealed section articles on how to get better at them but when you get down there and come face to face with the IRL eggplant, it all comes down to instinct.
And not getting in your head while giving head.
So, here are 40 thoughts you have while going down under.
- Oooh this make out session is really good
- And there it is, he’s pushing me down south
- The blow job tug of war has begun
- Actually, you know what, I do feel like blowing his mind and his trouser snake. Lets do this
- Pulling off his jocks low key gives me the ick
- Omg I'm going to try out that double hand move I saw online
- Why is this more difficult than normal blowies?
- But he seems to be enjoying it. Men’s moans are hot
- And even hotter when they’re because of my doing
- I’d definitely give myself a 8/10
- Is that his pubes in my mouth or my hair?
- I’m just going to take a hot sec to tie my hair up
- Okay it was pubes, don’t gag. Subtly pull them out of your mouth and carry on
- I wonder how long BJ’s have been around for
- Like were they before Jesus or after Jesus?
- You know what’s fun? Playing with balls
- I wonder how he would feel if I just slipped a finger into his butt
- It’s so close and we have talked about it before… But was he joking? Better leave it for next time after a chat
- My jaw is getting tired
- I’ve just had an intrusive thought… What if I just bit down right now?
- Like how hard would I have to bite for it to be sore?
- Is that really crazy? Do I need therapy?
- Speaking of therapy, I need to book my next hairdresser appointment. She always makes me feel better
- Why is he not making any noises?
- My ego needs reassurance! Moan goddam
- Should I look at him?
- Okay, he looks like he’s enjoying it
- And now he’s gripping my head
- Babe, we've talked about this. My mouth is not your hand, I can’t go 100km/h
- Does faster mean he’s almost finished? Honestly how can he be a 2 min cummer sometimes and then take 10 years with a gobby
- To be fair I’m like that as well
- Is it time to try the Gluck Gluck 9000?
- I think I need a glass of water first, my mouth is not producing any saliva
- Do we have any edible lube?
- Wait, is there even such a thing? Note to self: look into that post sex
- I wonder what a male orgasm feels like, is it the same as a females?
- Okay he’s close, I will keep up this momentum even if it kills me!!
- If he pulls the “I’m not going to kiss you after” move again I’m walking out
- Omg there is cum in my nose
- Quick run to the bathroom
- By Lillie Rohan.