You know that Tik Tok sound that goes, "It’s cuffing season and all the girls are leaving to get a big boy?"
I’m not going to lie, girl, that song has been stuck in my head for approximately three weeks and the concept that we are done with Hot Girl Summer and about to enter Wifed Up Winter is terrifying.
You want me to date??? You want me to find a man and simp over him just because it’s cold outside and he will keep me warm with cuddles???
Tbh, it does actually sound kind of nice.
But, to find a boo thang, one must either date, or go to the club, fight for your life through the tequila spins, hook an absolute catch and pray to the love gods above that you’re compatible.
Either way, you are going to have to go through the awkward getting to know each other stage which is usually made up of those questions you low key get the ick over.
I’m talking about “what do you do for work?” And “what’s your favourite colour?”
There is absolutely no reason asking or answering them should be your 13th reason and yet every time you read those words in a sentence together, you ask yourself once again, why am I dating?
Well, don’t worry sis.
We’ve all been there and recently while chatting with the girl gang, we decided to ask each other the wildest questions we could think of and since I’m a writer whose art imitates life, I got an idea.
So, as we enter pre-cuffing season, here are a bunch of weird ass questions you can ask your potential winter snuggle bud to get a feel for who they really are:
- What’s the worst star sign ever
- What’s your speciality? (This is a no context question, let them panic as they decide whether to tell you they’re a 10/10 at basketball or if they go for the I’ve got magic hands response)
- Do you get BBQ or Sweet n Sour sauce with your Macca’s nuggies? (More important than you think tbh)
- Fuck, Marry Kill but you can only pick from New Girl characters (fuck Nick because obvs, marry Schmidt becuase he will keep me organised, kill Sam just becuase)
- Tell me a conspiracy theory you believe in
- If you were on a reality TV show would you be the villain, the sweetheart, comedian or fan fav?
- Who is the worst celebrity ever
- Would you date Pete Davidson? (If no, ask why his BDE doesn’t work on them)
- Coke vs Pepsi? (Follow up - how do you know the difference?)
- Which SATC character are you? I'm a Miranda sun, Samantha moon and Carrie rising
- What’s the worst thing you’ve saved someone under in your phone?
- What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done while drunk? I once did a week's worth of washing
- If you were an emoji which one would you be?
- If you could switch bodies with anyone right now, who would it be? (Obviously it's Madelyn Cline)
- Who is your least favourite Kardashian/Jenner? (Will permit you to include their boyfs/hubbys current and past)
- If you got arrested what would it be for?
- What’s the difference between a Brazilian and a bikini wax?
- Tell me a funny thing you’re going to say at your best friend’s wedding
- Which member of your family do you still hold a childhood grudge against and why is it because of Monopoly?
- You can wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what is it?
Bonus round:
- Tiff or Missy Mini? (trick question, the answer is yes)
- By Lillie Rohan