40 Thoughts About A One Night Stand

One night stands are touch and go. 

Some are the best night of your life, others are more tragic than feeling like an emotional support ex girlfriend. 

Both types get their very own spotlight in the group chat and both are the key to having a Single Slutty Summer. 

But while some end up buried deep in the “I would rather forget that” trenches of your mind, there is always a build up and that’s what we are here to talk about today. 

Enter, 40 thoughts about a one night stand: 

1. *In the shower* should I shave tonight… just in case? 
2. Can’t believe the two month dry spell made me think it was a good idea to skip my wax appt
3. What are the chances I actually pull? 
4. I did read once that women can pull anyone they want 
5. Funny because I can’t pull the hot bar tender 
6. Screw it. I’ll shave
7. *checks IG* omggg the guy I have mad sexual tension with is going out 
8. I’ll def be drunk messaging him later 
9. My heart is set on him now 
10. Omg don’t bring your heart into this
11. At least it’s not my ex 
12. “Just don’t hook up with your ex” omg bestie telepathy at it again 
13. Should I change my sheets? There is tan on them
14. Nah, go hard or go home. I’m planning to be a dirty b*tch
15. *In the club* Slim pickings 
16. Oh hang on, is that who I think it is?
17. IG guy! 
18. Quick huddle to see if the gals approve
19. They approve. One more tequila shot and I’m going over there
20. Why does dirty dancing feel like a bird mating dance? 
21. Omg he kisses with tongue, I’ve overwhelmed, it’s like a punchy slug in my mouth
22. Usually making out on the d-floor would feel tragic but I’m too horny to care 
23. I never realised how much of a main character moment it is leaving the club with a guy
24. Making out in the taxi? Okay fine. Twist my arm 
25. Making out in the doorway?? Okay fine twist my arm 
26. Making out in bed?? Take my clothes off 
27. Holy shit this is hot. Note to self - must do this more often 
28. Oh no, he’s a jackhammer 
29. Everyone hold on for dear life
30. I wonder if he would be for or against Missy Mini
31. This jackhammer has to stop, get on your back. It’s my time to shine 
32. Note to self - incorporate more cardio at the gym. Cowgirl is killing me slowly 
33. Miss Flow is not due but somehow I’m still scared she will show up 
34. I don’t know what this position is but- 
35. oOOH okay whip me, flip me, double dip me I guess 
36. We done? Cool we are done 
37. Better pee before I get a dui - UTI - omg my brain is mush 
38. If he leaves before I get after care cuddles we are done 
39. Is it wrong I like the cuddles more than sex?
40. And he’s gone, the hot girl vibes are immaculate right now

- By Lillie Rohan.