In most cases, it’s another day, another slay but today, it’s another day and yet another 40 thoughts about a random sex position.
Specifically, the ‘ankles as earrings’ position also known as the over-the-shoulder position, spicy missionary, the scissors position, the list goes on.
For those who are completely lost about what I’m talking about, prepare to open your minds and spread your legs.
This position is probably one you’ve tried before and either hated so much you vowed never to do it again or loved it to the point where you can’t imagine banging the bedroom bongos without it.
So, what is it exactly?
Dubbed the “ankles as earrings” position on TikTok, this position is when you lie on your back with your legs in the air and spread apart.
Your partner then slips in between your legs until you guessed it, your ankles are placed smack bam on either side of their face like earrings.
For those who have the glorious Girls Guide to Getting Off, you’ll find a variation of this position on page 114. If you don't have the book, you'll find it online easy enough.
The position caught the attention of TikTok because of its ability to make chicks you know what in a minimal amount of time.
And of course, once I heard that, it was full steam ahead. There was no way I couldn’t not try that out.
So here are 40 thoughts about the ankles as earrings position:
- And the clothes are coming off. Let the bedroom tango commence
- Okay we are starting with the usual missionary, that’s fine, I’m not complaining
- Wait, are you lifting my leg to go over your shoulder?
- You are, aren't you? Where did you learn this bro?
- Oh, and the other leg is going up as well
- I don’t know if my body is meant to bend like this
- I’m getting flashbacks to that time my friend dragged me along to Saturday morning yoga
- Far out it low key feels like I’m about to let one rip. It could be a fart, it could be a queef, it’s body noise roulette
- Probably shouldn’t have had that plate of cheese and crackers before I came here though
- Dam you dairy
- Hang on a second, this position actually feels kind of good
- Yeah, nah that’s really hitting the spot
- Oh my god, what was that moan that just came out of my mouth? That was so unexpected
- Okay, relax, sure it feels like my hamstrings are about to snap but the o-sensations are drowning out the urgency to put my legs down
- Why does it feel so wet down there? It’s either lube or -
- WAIT. Period! When was the last time I had my period?
- Okay chill, it was two weeks ago
- I wonder how my body looks from this angle, might take a peep
- Quite a good view actually and not just of me
- Has he been going to the gym recently?
- Speaking of the gym, I wonder if this counts as exercise
- I mean I’m not really doing anything but I think I just felt my Apple Watch vibrate so it’s either a text from someone or the exercise monitor has been triggered
- That’s the first time it’s been triggered in a while. I should go back to the gym
- Is that feeling what I think it is?
- Am I about to squi-
- Yup, I can feel it. It’s about to happen
- DID YOU JUST CHANGE YOUR RHYTHM
- Boy, you can get in the bin when you’re done here
- I was SO close, like SO close. Do you know how devastating this feels right now?
- I may genuinely cry and not just cute cry but cry like when I watched the All Too Well (Taylor’s version) music video
- Side note: Dylan O’Brien looked really good in that video
- I wonder how boo thang would feel about him being my celebrity hall pass?
- I wonder who his celebrity hall pass would be?
- What is that noise? Is that his dog outside the door?
- Should we put some music on? I don’t think I’ve ever done sack athletics with some background tunes
- Could be a fun new experience
- Ooh la la. He’s found the rhythm again, he’s out of the bad books
- Yup that is good, that’s reaaaaally good
- Did my eyes just roll into the back of my head? Am I seeing stars? Why is my arm numb?
- No one touch me. I need five minutes to recover because that just put the big in big-o
- By Lillie Rohan