It’s time to ride ‘em, Queen!
Not sure who to bet on this Melbourne Cup week? Stress not, we have the answer: You and your boo.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of ways to enjoy the bedsheet tango, but the Melbs Cup got us thinking: none are quite as iconic as woman-on-top. As well as being a delicious way to show off your perfect bod and make tingly eye-contact with your boo, woman-on-top positions are even more fun for your Queen V.
With over 8,000 nerve endings in your clitoris alone, positioning yourself in the saddle results in more direct clitoral stimulation. And girl, let’s be real, it would be rude not to take advantage of that. Not to mention, you can control the depth and speed of penetration. It’s an immediate gold from us.
While you may have already perfected your signature Cowgirl hip roll, there’s no harm in upping the ante.
Welcome to the Girls Ultimate Guide to Ride.
Top tips on riding dick from penis owners...
While we love encouraging vulva owners to take charge of their pleasure, there is no feeling quite like two people both enjoying themselves. So, before we get to the positions, we’ve asked a legendary (and anonymous) group of penis owners who have spilled the beans on what makes a silver medal woman-on-top experience, a gold one.
After all, if you’re not your first you’re last.
Up the ante - according to penis owners:
- When it comes to those slip, slop, sliding levels, “always use lube, don’t ride dry”, and if you find yourself caught in a Punani Tsunami, fear not, queen, “Don’t be scared to squirt. The more liquid action the better.”
- Cowgirl might be a simple move, but the results are “crème de la crème” - especially if you’re using your hips the right way. One King P told us when you’re grinding, at the base of the cock, “squeeze your butt cheeks and tuck your belly button in while doing a slight hip thrust hip thrust at the end of the grind. Repeat.”
- The variation options don’t stop there; “On your feet > on your knees” is a winner, while another told us “Do the actual jockey stance”, which literally means you stay on your feet instead of your knees…. There is one warning though, however you ride, don’t let the penis come all the way out before you go all the way back down again: ’I actually broke my cock that way once. Most horrific noise you’ve heard in your life’. OUCH.
- A little bit of dirty talk goes a looooong way, “Whilst riding, describe what’s going on”, you may be surprised and what it results in.
- Of course, visual stimulation doesn’t go astray either; “Try putting your hands on your head,” one said, another added, “bit of a slap on the ass”, or the two birds, one stone position, “when riding, put your hands against the wall and you’ll get a better angle.”
- Beware of the full bush: “Bush on bush is a no go if you’re grinding on top/no one wants rashed pubis.”
- Don’t forget the balls and booty, “little bit of ball play never goes a miss if you’re in reverse, why not get your fingers up there.”
- Don’t feel like you need to be the fastest jockey in the competition, “Slow grinding beats hard and fast, don’t get too tired queen.”
- No matter how you choose to ride, there is one tip that trumps them all, “be confident and take charge”, this is your show, he’s just in the crowd.
Best positions for on top:
Like the Melbs Cup, we aren’t here to drag things out. Slow and steady may win the race sometimes, but not today, queen. Today, we are embodying the quick and dirty energy and sharing all the tips that make a woman-on-top position EXTRA spicy.
1. Traditional Cowgirl
It would be rude not to start with Cowgirl. She is an icon, a legend, and she is the moment. Allowing you to really lean into your empowerment era, the classic woman-on-top position is a go to for many couples, and girl, we can see why. The more confidence, the better!
How to do it: Have your partner lay on their back and place your legs either side of their hips. Insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V and place your hands on their chest to push yourself up and down.
How to win gold: Ready to make this 10/10 a 100000/10? Girl, we’ve got you. To make things spicier, sexier, and more o-worthy, place your hands on the top of their thighs and lean back. Or place your feet up on their legs for a whole new sensation. Consider your G-spot satisfied.
2. Reverse Cowgirl
Been working on your booty and want to show it off to your boo? Say no more, girl. Reverse Cowgirl is like Walmart’s Mean Girls advertisement - an iconic variation of an even more iconic classic.
How to do it:
Have your partner lay on their back, facing their feet, place your legs either side of their hips. Insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V and place your hands on their legs to push yourself up and down.
How to win gold: Make that booty work, queen! With the help of lube (looking at you Juicee), you and your partner can include a bit of booty play with a caress of your booty or add a booty plug like Peaches. And the move isn’t just a winner for the chicks; if you’re playing with your man, try massaging their balls for extra points, or even their booty - with consent, of course.
3. Seated Wheelbarrow
This one is a huuuuuuge win for absolutely everyone. Like Reverse Cowgirl, this is the position that gives your lover the ultimate booty view and lets you control exactly how much depth and speed you’re after. Second place doesn’t exist in the Seated Wheelbarrow.
How to do it: Have your partner sit at the edge of a bed or chair. Facing away from them, sit on their lap and place your hands on the floor. Insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V and stretch your legs behind their waist and use your hands to help you move.
How to win gold: Paging Mr. Grey. When we said spice, we really meant it because when it comes to laying over your partner’s lap, there’s really only one thing to do: spanking. If you and your partner enjoy a bit of impact play, have them spank your booty, or add a booty plug for double pene.
4. Lazy Man
She’s a woman in charge, and we couldn’t be more into this if we tried. Forget personal space because this is the ultimate up close and personal position. As well as giving your partner a primo view of your breasts, prepare to give them all the smooches. Tongue hockey anyone?
How to do it: Have your partner sit at the top of the bed with their legs stretched out (place a pillow behind their back for extra support). Facing them, place your legs either side of their hips and straddle them before inserting their penis or dildo into your Queen V.
How to win gold: Make the most out of this position by adding in a couples toy like a cock ring. If you’re looking for deep penetration, spread your legs out wider to hit the magic spot, or show off your girls by leaning forward and placing your hands against the wall.
5. Face Off
It’s the Cowgirl who went rogue, and honestly, this is what quickies are made of. You’re close, you’re personal, you’re sharing smooches, and all those erogenous zones are well within reach. Not to mention this angle is a huge fan of the G-spot.
How to do it: Have your partner sit on the edge of the bed with their feet firmly on the floor. Facing them, place your legs either side of their hips and straddle them. When comfortable, insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V.
How to win gold: Shout out to our queens who love a deep pene; this is about to be your new cannon event. To make this silver medal a gold, you may need to relinquish a lil bit of control, but it’s for the greater good. Have your partner use the extra leverage of the floor and match your movements for an extra deep thrust. Speaking of advantage, this is also the perfect time to lock eyes and watch the pleasure play out as you grind against them.
6. Woman Astride
Feeling a bit like a Greek Goddess and want it ALL on display? Say no more, Woman Astride has heard, seen and respected your wishes. The control is all yours, but the pleasure is all theirs. Just kidding, your champagne will be popping as well.
How to do it: Have your partner sit at the top of the bed with their legs slightly bent and their arms behind them for support. Lying on your back, position your pelvis between their legs and your feet on the outside of their hips. When comfortable, insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V, and rock back and forth.
How to win gold: Your partner is counting their lucky stars as they admire everything from your breasts to your vulva. To make sure you are as well, they can stimulate your clitoris and/or nipples, or add in a toy like Missy for extra stimulation.
7. The Chairman
It’s the best seat in the house and it’s about to get even better. Whether you’re doing it in the boardroom, the bedroom or the lounge, all you need is a chair and your lover.
How to do it: Have your partner sit on a chair with their feet firmly on the ground. Facing away from them, place your legs either side of theirs and straddle them. Insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V. Place your feet on the ground and use the extra leverage to bounce up and down.
How to win gold: It’s a hands free position, meaning they can go anywhere and do anything. Whether they’re your hands or your partner’s, you can take your pick between nipple or clitoral play. If you’re feeling extra spicy, add in Missy or Polly for extra stimulation.
8. Magic Mountain
Girl, we know we said this was all about woman-on-top positions, and it is, bar the exception of this one; it’s just too good to slide by. Since you’re still calling the shots, you may as well be living your best on top life.
How to do it: Have your partner sit with their legs bent, leaning back on their hands or forearms. Mirror their position and move toward each other until your pelvis’ touch allowing you to insert their penis or dildo into your Queen V.
How to win gold: Kissing may be near impossible in this position, but the views are magnificent. Express your admiration for the art in front of you through dirty talk, incorporate a toy or lean into your in-charge era by directing your partner exactly how to thrust, grind and slide.
9. The O-hemgee
If you’re aiming for pleasure, not a podium moment, look no further. This move may not be the goldest of them all but it sure will have you saying “omg” more times than you can count.
How to do it: Have your partner sit with their legs crossed (yoga/pretzel style). Place your legs either side of their hips and sit in their lap facing them. Place their penis or dildo in your Queen V and wrap your legs around them, hugging each other for support.
How to win gold: Ready, set, smooch! Take advantage of being so close to each other and turn the sensual vibes up a notch. Enjoy a full on make-out session with your lover. Another gold-winning move is to ditch the jackhammer and instead rock your hips back and forth to find the most o-worthy spot for you and your partner. Proceed with caution if you’re both sporting a full bush, no one wants a rashed pubis!
Giddy up, gals!
Girl, we have a confession to make, The Guide to Ride is only a teeny tiny glimpse at the GGO treasure chest. For everything (and we mean everything) you’ve ever wondered about all things sex and intimacy, we have a complete sealed section. Say hello to A Girls Guide to Getting Off. With guides on squirting, booty play, handy intimacy tips, and EVEN MORE positions, she really is a 10/10 - and, to top it off she’ll even look like one on your coffee table. Click HERE for more!